idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Randomize
