some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Randomize
