dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
