grandma shit on top of the toilet
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
