and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize
