I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
