Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
