so explain again why im purple
no
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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