physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Randomize
