C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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