why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
