I'll bet she douches with gravy.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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