i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize