How'd it feel making her break her religion?
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Randomize
