I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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