Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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