Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
Randomize
