Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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