I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
