Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
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