its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Randomize
