so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
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