let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Randomize
