He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Randomize
