Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Randomize
