I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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