what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
