i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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