Me. At least after what I've been through.
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
found the other keg... it's in the tree
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Randomize