i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
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