i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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