you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize