First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Randomize
