i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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