i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize