i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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