dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
