Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Randomize
