The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Randomize
