why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Randomize