STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Randomize
