my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Randomize
