Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
You are a booty call, not a friend.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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