Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
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