the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
