There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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