I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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