I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
