Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
i out mim tonsoeep
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