carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
