I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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