Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
