hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
