Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Randomize
