On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
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