hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Randomize
