i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize
