no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Randomize
