**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
