I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
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